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More Columbus Parent columns
 

Small Word, Big Difference

“Yet.”  It’s such a small word, but it counters so many issues that bring clients into my office.  “I can’t do that homework.”  “We can’t communicate.”  “My kids can’t get along ..."



Embracing Change

In therapy, we try to understand what clients do and why they do it.  However, I learned a valuable lesson early in my training from my family therapy mentor, Dr. Gil Greene, who said, "Insight is a poor agent for change."  Knowing why we do things doesn't always inspire us to make changes; often, it becomes the rationale for doing it.



Accepting Anger

"I know I shouldn't be angry, but ..."  I hear that a lot from clients.  People look back at times when they lost their temper, and they beat themselves up for it.  But here's a dirty little secret: It's OK to get mad ...


 
Parenting Teens: Share Viewpoint But Resist Power Struggle

Sometimes, you just want your teen to hear what you're saying, but they act like they'll argue with anything you say.  (You: "The sky is blue."  Them: "No, it's green!")  How do you get them to listen while avoiding the argument?



What You Think You See is What You Get
 
I stopped for breakfast at a local restaurant recently. I love their freshly made strawberry jam, but when I reached for the bowl, I found packets of a brand-name jam instead ...



Pass the Cranberries and Set the Boundaries

Ah, Thanksgiving.  America's annual day to get together to eat turkey, watch football, and nitpick the heck out of each other.  It can be especially troublesome for parents whose relatives disapprove of how they're raising their children ...



The Magic of Boundaries
 
There are no magic wands.  We wish there were, of course. Imagine how easy it’d be to get a promotion or to pick winning lottery numbers or to stop a child’s fit in the store ...
 
 
 
Co-Parenting Made, Um, Simple
 
Sometimes, no matter how hard they try, couples can’t make things work. They’re left with the uneasy business of splitting possessions, property and often friends ...
 


Repeat After Me: "I Love Winter"
 
A few years ago, I stomped into a coffee shop on one of those dreary, snowy winter days when hope vanishes behind the clouds ...
 
 
 
Family and the Holidays
 
Don’t look now, but they’re coming. You probably can’t hide; some of them will be staying at your house. Yes, it’s the holiday season, and your extended family is coming to visit ...
 
 
 
Positive Sports Parenting
 
She was a gifted high school athlete. She enjoyed the benefits of being great at a sport. She often carried her teammates to victory. And when her family was in session with me, she grimaced and said, “I hate this sport so much ..."
 
 
 
"Shoulding" on Yourself
 
Each family that I see in my counseling practice is unique, but there are some universal truths. “Should” is one of them. Should, as in, “woulda, coulda, shoulda" ...
 
 
 
Blame Gets in the Way of Change
Family sessions are sometimes like a shoving match during a football game; everybody points fingers at everyone else and expects the referees to figure out who started the fight ...
 
 
 
So Your Teenager "Hates" You?
 
So your teenager says he or she hates you? Welcome to the club, my friend. You've joined a noble club of parenting everywhere. Read more at this link:
 



More blogs by Carl
 
 
How Do I Find Meaning In Loss?
 
Q: I suffered a traumatic loss recently, and some friends told me I should “find meaning” in the loss and move on. I know they want me to feel better, but I’m having a hard time finding anything good right now. How can I find the meaning they keep talking about ...
 
 
 
Want Family Therapy But Nobody Will Go?
 
People sometimes tell me that their family needs therapy, but nobody in the family would ever agree to come. My advice: Come without them ...
 
 
Q&A: I'm Nervous About My Kid Going Away To Camp
 
Q: My daughter is leaving soon for her first overnight camp. She seems happy to be going, but I’m a nervous wreck. How can I handle this as well as she is ...
 
 
 
Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband To Stop Irritating Me?
 
Q: I understand that I can’t control what someone else does, but my husband’s really been irritating me lately, and I don’t like it. How can I make things better ...
 
 
 
Q&A: How Can I Help My Grieving Friend?
 
Q: A good friend of mine lost someone close to them recently, and sometimes they seem so lost. I’d like to help them feel better, or to at least not say anything to make them feel worse. What can I do? ...
 
 
 
Grandparents And Divorce: How To Stay Involved
 
Q: I love my daughter-in-law like my own child, but she and my son are getting divorced. How can I keep her in my life after the divorce ...
 
 
 
Stressed Out About Stressing Out
 
Often, the phrase “stress management” just causes you more stress.  It’s bad enough to feel overwhelmed by stress, but thinking about how to manage it often makes ...
 
 
 
Nobody Wins the Blame Game
 
Let’s say I have new clients named Joe and Mary. Let’s say they’ve never been in for a session before. Joe often expects things to go like this ...
 
 
 
Regrets Get Old After A While
 
Everyone has regrets. We might not want to admit it, but we do. Maybe it’s a lost relationship, or a choice you didn’t make, or even something as simple as trying ...
 
 
 
Divorced Parents: The Way It Should Be
 
It takes a lot to surprise me as a therapist ...
 
 
 
Curses!  What To Do When Your Kid Starts Cussing
 
Parents often complain that their children morphed overnight into drunken sailors – not because they found a parrot and a bottle of booze in their kids’ rooms, but because ...
 
 
 
Kicking Mental Health Stigma
 
Let’s imagine your family is at the soccer field for one of your children’s games. One of the players shows up with a pair of crutches and an announcement. “I broke my ..."
 
 
 
So Now You're the "Bad Guy": Dealing with Teenagers
 
I see a lot of angst in my job. It comes with the territory when you do family therapy. But sometimes, the turmoil is simply caused by the passage of time. It seems ...
 
 
 
In Praise of Praise
 
Praise has taken a beating lately.  Several recent studies show that over-praising children can make them less able to handle adversity, less successful, and ...
 
 
 
"Hey, Coach!" Parents, They're Talking to You
 
Parents, you’re about to get drafted.  No, you’re not headed to boot camp, although there might be days when you feel trapped and welcome any relief from the ...
 
 
 
"Mom, I'm Bored!"  Now What?
 
If you listen closely, you can hear them murmuring. Their eyes are wide. Fear oozes from their pores. Before long, panic sets in.  Yep, it’s the parents. They stare at you with dread and mutter, “What do I do? The children are coming home ...”
 
 
 
When It's Hard To Just Let Kids Play The Game
 
Imagine you’re at a local high school watching a baseball game on a lovely spring afternoon. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, the smell of cheap hot dogs teases you from the snack cart run by the local boosters …
 
 
 
Q&A: One ... Two ... Uh-Oh
 
Q: My kids have always responded to me counting out a warning, as in, “You need to do this before I get to three. One … two …” But what happens when they don't listen ...
 
 
 
Q and A: How Do I Apologize to My Child without Losing Authority?
 
Parents often feel trapped by these situations. Everyone makes mistakes, even parents, and everyone needs to apologize once in a while – not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because it helps the person doing the apologizing move on ...
 
 
 
New Year's Resolutions: Ripples, Not Splashes
 
I’m writing this on January 4, which means many of you have already given up on your New Year’s resolutions. If you’re still following through, I give you credit, but ...
 
 
 
Adjusting To The Empty Nest
 
Fall was always odd for me as a parent. From the time my oldest child headed off to kindergarten, there always seemed to be a transition when summer faded ...
 
 
 
When Cheering Really Isn't
 
Imagine you’re at a local high school watching a baseball game on a lovely spring afternoon.  The sun is shining, birds are chirping, the smell of cheap hot dogs teases ...
 
 
 
Despite Recent Headlines, Treatment Still Best Bet Against Teen Suicide
 
Often, things are exactly what they seem to be.  This is not one of those stories ...
 
 
 
Q&A: Should I lock my child in his bedroom at night?
 
A: Well, at first glance, this seems like a no-brainer.  You can’t lock children in their rooms.  What horrible parents these people must be.  But as with all things, it’s not that easy.  What looks crazy and wrong from the outside looks perfectly reasonable to the people involved ...
 
 
Q&A: Why Do I Keep Dating the Same Kind of People?
 
A: It's frustrating when you feel like you keep making the same mistakes in choosing partners.  There can be several reasons for doing this ...
 
 
 
Adventures in Therapy: Why It Helps To Stick To Reward Programs
 
I recently read an article in a parenting magazine by a frustrated parent who'd had enough of using stickers as a reward. In desperation, he decided to go "old school" and insisted that his child go to bed because he said so and not because she was getting a sticker ...
 
 
 
Q&A: How Do I Know If My Child Needs Counseling?
 
Q: My son often acts out, and on a couple of occasions, well-meaning people have called him crazy and told me to get him (or me) professional help. How can I tell what’s “normal” behavior, and what requires a visit to the therapist ...

 
 
Adventures in Therapy: Hurricane Parenting
 
I found myself rooting for a hurricane the other day ...
 
 
Adventures in Therapy: Co-Parenting
 
It takes a lot to surprise me as a therapist. I’ve had clients announce that they’d like to give their adopted children back. I’ve had children tell me how they help cover up their parent’s alcoholism. I’ve had a school psychologist...
 
 
 
Adventures in Therapy: A Diagnosis or a Drum?
 
I’m always reminded of an elementary music teacher this time of year (Christmas). Her name was Miss Lilly, and I remember her this time of year because she conducted our elementary school choir when I ...
 



Articles in which Carl is quoted
 
 
Live with the Imperfect

Each and every new school year beckons students with the allure of opportunity. But behind every opportunity lies the chance for disappointment when these things don’t happen or simply don’t yield the same rewards the child anticipated ...



OMG, Was That Too Much TMI?
 
A few months ago, Worthington mom AnnMarie McCallister was having a particularly horrid morning before her kids went off to school.  “It had just not been pretty here,” she said. The icky feeling of that morning stuck with her while at work. She was upset ...
 
 
 
Five Times Grandparents Should Interfere
 
Twice a week you babysit your grandson, feed him lunch, and take him to the park. So naturally, you’re going to notice a thing or two. But whether to interfere or not is tricky for grandparents ...
 
 
 
Tricks for Getting Along with Anyone
 
There are a few simple rules that therapists recommend to help others learn to get along with practically anyone. One of the most important components is respect. Treat others with respect, and you are much more likely to be treated the same ...
 
 
 
 
Nine Ways to Help a Grieving Loved One
 
There comes a time in all of our lives when we lose someone we love. None of us are immune. This also means there will come a time when we will need to support someone near and dear as he or she deals with the complexity of grief ...
 
 
 
Should They Stay or Should They Go?
 
We were living in another part of the world — Australia, to be specific, because of my husband’s job — and summer camps were just as big there as they are here. I was really looking forward to having my 10-year-old daughter and my 5-year-old son ...
 
 
 
Get Your Teen to Talk to You
 
Being the mom of a teen isn’t easy. You ask a question and you’ll likely get a nod, a one-word response—or no reply at all! The good news: That behavior is perfectly normal, says Carl Grody, LISW, of Grody Family Counseling in Ohio ...
 
 
 
How to Apologize to Your Kids
 
Even the most patient of parents loses her cool, but being the mom of a tween doesn't mean you can't learn how to say sorry to your kiddos. From seeing things from a child's point of view to letting your youngster know that you make mistakes ...
 
 
 
How to Explain It When Mentors Do Wrong
 
On Friday night, when the Haverford High School football team take the field for a playoff game, their coach ... a hall of fame coach for the team for 23 years, won’t be standing on the sidelines, clipboard in hand.
 
 
 
When To Seek Help For Rebellious Teens
 
Your teen is testing the limits — both at home and at school. Some may say it’s par for the course for teenagers, but when has it gone too far ...
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
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